After having a discussion with my friend, who for the record I do love very much,last night, I woke up to attend the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass this morning only to hear some sermon about the nature and the beauty of love. One of those times I feel God is actually playing a prank.
I had complained to my friend about how I had struggled not to love him the way I do because I felt I gained nothing from it, I could barely find a reciprocated affection and care, and I felt I was literally playing the fool. Earlier in the year I had kept my distance from him, particularly because I wanted to stop, it was so difficult, we kinda ceased to be friends in the way we used to be. I knew what I was doing, I knew it was a step in the opposite direction, but nevertheless, I continued, yeah I did till I was tired.
It was not till we got back to being friends that I realized how much I had suffered, trying to stop caring, or to stop loving. The difference was clear, I was happier, even though I knew whatever I put in was possibly not going to come back. But isn’t that what Love is really? How would it feel to Love and get an expected Love back? For me, it would be dry and devoid of all the wonder, all the mystery, and all the life that it contains.
I feel the beauty of Love is in Loving, in just loving, in immersing yourself in the very ocean of love and allowing yourself to be like rain drops of love, The happiness that comes from true love does not come from being loved in return, but in loving more and more. When we do so we become like God and have a taste of what it is to be Divine.
That selflessness and unconditionality is, to me, what makes love unique. At this point I think back to my friends, especially those who I really care about but who do not even in the very least care about my existence or do so as much as I do theirs. It hurts believe me, if only it can be mutual, it would make so much sense. But the beauty of love even when it is mutual is in the wonder and mystery of each unique part of that mutual love, where each party is engrossed in loving and not in whether the other loves back. That opens up a new path in the journey of love where every day is new, the love is new every day because it is open to wonder, to mystery, precisely because it is a love that is about loving.
Do not cage the essence, allow it to flow forth from you and envelope those around you…
…just a quick thought…why is the human heart in a rib cage?