Love Hurts

I hear people sometimes saying that they are not open to love or not ready for it because they do not want to trust anyone, they have probably experienced the pain that comes from betrayal and the pain that also comes from not being loved back, at least not in the same way they have loved. The funny thing is that these people are in relationships, many want to go into relationships with the caveat, ‘no love allowed’, some, even our peers in this age, view ‘true love’ as something weak and naïve, something cuddled up in romance novels and religious books, something idealistic and not in any way representative of the real and current situation of things in the world. The reason most of the time is betrayal and unreciprocated love.

One thing I have learnt, and I usually tell my friends is this, forgive me if it sounds idealistic but it’s something that is actually true: True Love consists in giving someone the opportunity to stab me in the back. Whether you like to believe it or not, to truly love someone is to open yourself up to the person’s strengths, achievements, fits, but also, his or her weaknesses, failures, defects, and falls, even when it comes to defects in love itself. True Love is something I have always called a sorrowful sweetness or a sweet sorrow, in whatever way you might like to see it. We are not all perfect, and so if we truly love each other, we do not love each other because of our perfections, and those moments when we are exceptionally or moderately nice, we love the person we see in his or in her totality.

I have very strong Christian inclinations so I like to use some things about Christ to buttress my points, for he said, ‘Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for his friends’, true love therefore Is associated in degree with laying your life, and we Christians look at the love of Christ and the perfect representation of that love is the Cross, with him nailed to it.
It is sad that many relationships end abruptly, beautiful relationships at that, because of the weaknesses or failures of another, it is sadder to know that many more relationships end because people remove love from the equation for fear of getting hurt, and so the cycle continues, our world continues to be devoid of true happiness, despite the multiplicity of pleasures, because it is devoid of love.


It is however my belief, that our love, as long as we are in this world can never be perfect, can never be that perfect fantasy, can never be devoid of pain, even the pain of losing the one you love to death is a constant fear that when called to mind really does hurt..

Author: Chibuzor F. Ogamba

Chibuzor F. Ogamba is a Nigerian Medical Student, Writer, Poet, Blogger, Public Speaker and Catholic Apologist

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